Imagine leaning over your baby and asking, “Is it okay if I change your nappy now?” For most parents, this scenario seems straight out of a satire on modern parenting. But for Deanne Carson, an Australian educator, it’s a serious proposal for building a “culture of consent” from birth. This suggestion has exploded online, becoming a flashpoint in the ongoing debate about how we raise the next generation.
Carson’s method is nuanced. She isn’t expecting a baby to grant permission. Instead, she encourages parents to communicate their actions and be attentive to their baby’s non-verbal signals. The act of asking and waiting for a moment of eye contact is meant to signal to the child that their response matters. For some parents, this aligns perfectly with a “respectful parenting” approach, where the child is seen as a whole person from the start. They argue that talking through daily activities is simply good practice, fostering a secure and communicative relationship.
On the other side of the debate, the criticism is swift and sharp. Many have taken to social media to mock the idea, with one user sarcastically questioning if the same logic applies to household pets. The core of the opposition’s argument is practicality and common sense. Critics assert that parenting an infant is about meeting their needs proactively, not negotiating with them. A baby’s cry from a soiled diaper is a clear signal that requires immediate action, not a question.
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
The intensity of the reaction highlights how emotional parenting topics can be. Suggestions that seem to judge or complicate the already tough job of raising a child often face a fierce backlash. Critics see this as “lefty lunacy,” an over-intellectualization of a simple, essential caregiving task. They worry it places an unnecessary burden on parents and confuses the natural parent-child dynamic.
Yet, amidst the noise, some are finding a middle ground. They suggest that while the specific example of diaper consent may be a step too far, the underlying principle—teaching children from a young age that their bodies are their own—is incredibly important. The debate ultimately comes down to personal parenting style. Whether you choose to ask the question or not, the conversation has successfully gotten people thinking more deeply about how everyday interactions shape a child’s sense of self and respect for others.
